How can I put into words the affect on the nation and beyond this week?

I’ve always been a ‘wear my heart on my sleeve/emotion on my face’ stereotypical person and on a few occasions in the past 48hrs i’ve apologised to a few work colleagues for what seemed to be my ‘down’ mood in the fear that my emotions following Monday nights attack in Manchester were beginning to creep out into the way I was acting.

Anyone who knows me well enough will know that I am quite a sensitive person, I can take a joke fairly well and similarly have had my fair share of ‘off’ moments but when something affects my emotions I can really let it get to me. I’ll admit that my husband lives with a ‘thinker’ and matters occurring in the world which appear on our TV screens can get a lot of dinnertime airtime in our home as I try to rationalise the difference in politics or controversies, despite my amateur knowledge.

When I woke up Tuesday morning to hear about the devastating news that was announced the night before I couldn’t help but want to cry. After a few days of constantly checking the news for updates and scrolling social media for new information I began to think about the future generation of our children. I pictured my niece and nephews, friends children and unborn babies and wondered what their lives will be like in 20 years time. How will society have changed to allow them to love each other the way they should and when will this hatred come to an end? Truth is, love is always going to be there, so is hatred and we have to do our very best to teach this to those little ones in the best way we possibly can. I started to document my feelings on this blog so that in years to come, the younger generation of my family can reflect upon one example of the many aspects, challenges, memories and amazing experiences that can happen in life.

Yesterday I came across a quote whereby a mother spoke to her child about the scary events that came on the news with the moral behind it being to look for the helpers and the ones that will always shine in the darkest of moments. In my line of work and that of my family’s, it’s very easy to let emotions get the better of you at times or fear of high expectations and each one of us has experienced that moment whereby we’ve come home and cried ourself to sleep because of those individuals we really couldn’t help. At times it all feels a little too close to home and this is what becomes difficult when working within the public sector, but more importantly – we more than most also know about the benefits and the journey that can start so dark but get better with every step, without giving up despite the knock backs. So it’s important in times like this that as a nation and as a community we don’t stop what we are doing for fear of the unknown and that instead we take it as a lesson to do exactly what we want out of thanks for the goodness and the beauty that surrounds us in more ways than we know. Emergency services aren’t working tirelessly to help the critically injured so that they can live the rest of their life in fear, they’re working around the clock so that they can live the rest of their lives.

My thoughts and prayers are heavily with the families affected in the attack at the MEN arena Monday night but not forgetting those who rely on emergency services and were in need on the unfortunate night whereby priorities lay at the scene of the concert venue.

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