Doing It Yourself


“Other than money, DIY is probably the second most common reason man and wife argue” – Love Mum.

We’d always agreed to compromise. Either that or we have always tried to please each other. One will ask the question ‘where would you like to eat’ and the other would simply respond ‘I don’t mind, you choose’. Sometimes I’m pretty sure we’d end up eating somewhere completely far from what either of us wanted just so it didn’t seem that one of us was more selfish. It continues to this day that Jason and I always want to please each other, however it’s not so much about food anymore.

We will still ask questions to each other, despite the fact we now already know the answer. My mood swings and ulterior answers are no longer guess work to Jason as he’s figured out how to read in between my lines, yet it doesn’t stop me from responding in the same ways. I guess that’s what’s nice about our marriage and really being in tact with one another’s feelings. This statement may be a little confusing considering the title of this post is named ‘doing it yourself’ but what it’s actually relating too is the fact that I’d set Jason the task of DIY jobs in the house over the weekend with the full intention that they would get completed as a joint effort and I would willingly give up just as much time as he would to dedicate to the odd jobs around the house. Instead, Saturday morning rolled around and I felt completely useless.

Moving into our home, I imagined being the typical ‘woman’ of the house, being good at cooking and washing etc etc… But to my surprise, Jason was also good at these things and admittedly, quite willing to take on certain duties. Saying that, I naturally find an urge to tidy or clean up before I even contemplate sitting down to “relax”, whereas Jason’s got his priorities right. But… he still does them and his efforts go far from unnoticed. So my doubt comes from the fact I feel I should be just as forthcoming at DIY. When we first moved into our home, we walked into a completely different person’s life and saw first hand how people can live without a care in the world for the environment around them. It took 3 months of cleaning, floor laying, painting and re-structuring whilst we were in the final stages of wedding planning and so to sit back now and leave the rest of the work to Jason didn’t seem fair. However, rather than being the hands-on help that I’d hoped for, instead I just ended up following Jason around the house like a lap dog in the hope it will make me feel as though I have achieved the same as he has in the space of a day. But the fact is I’ve remained the observer & ‘just hold this’ statue. I felt this rush of incompetence and just uselessness. Silently I’m hoping that this is a normal reaction to a very new chapter in my life and that in time I will task myself with these jobs alone without the defeating thoughts that only man hands can save the day – after all I’m willing to try!

A not so easy Sunday morning soon rolled around and despite this minor rage in frustration and need to air my feelings, I woke in a better mood ready to tackle the art of DIY observation. After all, I need to learn somehow and starting by admitting my role as an observer lack of skills in this department is the only way I see successful. The end result – two shelves, two pictures, a cupboard door & one painted bathroom! (Yes, they are simple tasks and yes I did pick up a paintbrush, I haven’t added observation of paint drying to my list of competencies just yet).



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